Summary of days in Hong Kong

Hello fellow wonderful, lovely, talented readers wtf. Sorry for the absence. After rushing through my work and one week trip plus few more days of nothingness, here I am back again! Yes, I do have a life outside blogging (ignore the word nothingness there fml)!

Of course right now, I got my mojo back! Err, sort of. Okay, I got it back now! So let it begin before it escapes me again (because imma post lots of pictures muahahahahaha wtf).

Let me just first talk a little bit about my trip in Hong Kong before I bombard you with pictures.

Firstly, a myth will be debunk. The people in Hong Kong are not as rude as I thought they would be. Sure they seem to be rushing to places all the time but not as rude as I heard. Of course there is this one case when I have to slowdown to look around and then suddenly one sweaty chef shouted "Hang Hoi!!" (Move aside!!) at me wtf. It was 10 degrees and he is actually sweaty with singlet on. That must be some kind of hell's kitchen.

Secondly, is the space there. What space? There is barely none!! All you get to see are high rise buildings. If you think KL is a concrete jungle, wait until you see THE concrete jungle. But, below all those concrete jungle is another story. There are lots and lots of small stores. And the food there is cheap! So go up high for class and go way down for... grass? Sorry, can't rhyme it wtf.

Finally is their MTR. Until now I have no idea what it means and I am too lazy to Google it so I shall call it Most Terrer Railway. Our LRT really kalah teruk (lose badly) to the MTR. I think it takes two or three of our trams to match one tram in MTR. And yes, while reading this, you might pronounce MTR as MRT in Singapore. I know I did. #guilty

Finally finally (Yes, just let me add one more). In the MTR, it is like war. Seriously. If you think that you manage to be first in line, just wait and see. When the MTR arrives, out of nowhere, you will be the last in line. Their cutting line technique is lvl87 compare to our mere lvl32 wtf.

Okay, as promised, here are the pictures:

Day One: The Peak (literally)


Don't worry, no suicidal thoughts here.

Bush said show me the money.

Day Two: I forgot wtf


My shot for the night lights there.

Hallelujah! OK, I have no idea what they sang


Santa, you lost some weight. Must be the 2D effect wtf

Day Three: Disney... wait for it.. Land!

After all this work is sexy time at night wtf

The castle you see in every Disney movie, minus the people

Snow White looked high on drugs. Seriously.

Stitch was just too tall

Day Four: Museum for free! (and getting lost)[and Mong Kok]

Look at the structure of the sign.. It is so.. Who am I kidding, it is just an ordinary sign wtf

Because it is a barrel of FUN! whistle~

When you see it...

Hello market that beats our longest pasar malam.

Day Five: Wet wet at Ocean Park wtf

Entertaining dude and he speaks better Cantonese than me fml


Proof that we were in Ocean Park.

And yes, I sat the scariest roller coaster there. #victorybaby.jpg

Floating dude

Day 6: Stan Lee.. I mean Stanley Market

Again, proof

Hence, began our exploration and Indiana Jones I am not wtf

Oh, the irony

Did I mentioned 'summary' on the title? I meant 'sort-of-a-summary'. Kthxbye.

Calv out!

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Quickie Jakarta for Samsung World Tour

Lucky me (seriously lucky, no joke) that I got to go to Jakarta, Indonesia for a Samsung event. Nah, I won't be touching on the event there. Work la, don't want to talk too much about it wtf.

Anyway, once we got there, we were rushed for a quick tour in the bus. So most of the pictures you see is mostly from inside the bus wtf.

Picture dump starting NOW:


This is our first stop. Some place like Sungei Wang but WAY bigger. This is the first time I had seen so many optical shops. Like the WHOLE row!!! It created like an optical illusion (pun intended wtf) as if a mirror is there. But thankfully couldn't see my reflection. Or my face will just splat over there wtf.


The Indonesia Monument. That's the closest we were able to go wtf.


You couldn't imagine my joy when I saw the beds. One for me and another one for me! My dream of sleeping horizontally came true wtf. Sadly, there is no time for rest fml.


The view from my room Shangri-la offered. Err, that's all wtf.


Ritz Carlton's shopping area. Reminds me of JW Marriot in KL but much brighter wtf.


My attempt at not sucking with fine dining fail miserably.... T.T


The power of bamboo. Who needs steels? We should adopt this. Maybe Jackie Chan will come.


Just because I can.


Our last stop before heading to airport. That shrimp was looking at me like "I dare you to eat me!" and I did wtf.


Oh, that's the name of our last stop.

Err, that's about it. Not so bad right? I feel like a mix of food blogger blend with architecture photographer wtf.

Seriously, there was really no time for me to sit and observe people. If there was time, you'll get to see at least one crummy picture of myself. You know, vain pot attempt wtf.

Here's two things I learnt from the tour guide while I was in Jakarta.

Private own cars need to have at the very least three passengers. If not, the police can saman! Yea, they will fine you 300,000 Rupiah! So the driver's solution is to pick up passengers along the way. There will be people standing on the road with their index finger pointing up showing them that they are available. Best part is, other than the free ride, they get PAID for siting in the car. From 25,000 Rupiah onwards. I could do that as a side income wtf.

Another thing was the fact that you can really see the divide between the poor and the rich. Just look at the houses and you'll know. It moves gradually from wooden houses to brick houses to high rise apartments. But according to our tour guide, even the poor can make money. They will normally stand around U-turn or traffic light asking for money. And in a day, they can earn 10,000 Rupiah. So in a year, their 'income' is 3,000,000 Rupiah. Not a lot but it is enough to survive.

Calv out

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Music through time in awesome pictures!

If music can be interpreted in picture, isn't it awesome? Of course it is very hard to do so but I would like to try it out wtf.

Over the time from cave people until now, music evolves. So let's start with the wonderful years of being caveman and cavewoman (I don't discriminate), where everything is back to basic.

Famous music lyrics from back then: "Aaaaaahhh!!"



So this should be the painting for it:



Next is around the year 1000. Yes, I am leaping few thousand years later because I need to get some sleep wtf.

This is when there is actually harmony.

Famous lyrics from back then: "Ah aaah aaaaaahhh beh!"


Without this, you won't get Linkin Park. Think about it wtf.

Oh, and the picture interpretation for it:


Yes, I cheated. I can't draw this for nuts wtf.

And then came the era of silent film. Yes, that's the time when you can only see the the dialogue after the actor's mouth moves! Everything is illustrated by music. Err, yea, this is in the 1900s or before that. Don't ask what happen to opera. It is in the 1597 from Italy. That's all you'll get from me wtf.

Famous lyrics from back then: "..................................."



Here's the picture again:



It is not Hitler or cowboy or Hitler pretending to be a cowboy wtf. CHARLIE CHAPLIN!

Introducing, the era of boy bands! This is where hormone raging girls scream and faint for them while their boyfriends sulk and plot to kill them off with pencils. Yup, the boybands will dance and sing just for your entertainment. 1950s is the acapella types and in the 1960s, you heard of the Jackson 5? Does Michael Jackson ring a bell? Yes, he is from that group. And black plus handsome wtf. Back when MTV was cool!

Famous lyrics from then: "Easy as A,B,C 1,2,3"



Picture bla bla bla:


(Insert witty comment, too lazy to think)


And finally, music at this time. Lovers of this song will be my hater:

Famous lyrics: "FGeoaot aopmvp[a aopwjbma[pp tnka" (Writer's note: sarcasm intended)


Oh God. This is the first time I watch the video. Erase my memory NOW.

Yes, some starts to make no sense at all. So here's the last pic:


Seriously. We are back in ancient times.

Calv out.

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Short update

No offense.... hahahaha

Nothing major here. Just a short update.

Recently, I have to say good bye to my column called "Should I really get it?" that talked about smartphone and tablet accessories from Bluetooth devices to backseat iPad holder. It was fun while it lasted but I decided to end it as thinking from a readers point of view, it is not that interesting FML.

Anyway, there will be a new corner called "What's in your bag?" and again it is lead by yours truly. This time, instead of devices I will be focusing on people. And if by now you still don't know what this corner is about, go to the toilet and dunk your head in the toilet bowl wtf.

Anyway, if you are out of the toilet already, the column will be about the things in people's bag. Yes, I will be your personal space invader.


Get it? Get it? Personal "space invader" wtf

Of course I will be looking for your gadgets first instead of the condom or make up kit in your bag wtf.

So look out people, if this stranger suddenly approach you, please don't run away. YOU are source of my story, YOU will appear in the magazine not me (I-wish-I-have-my-5-minutes-of-fame wtf).

Nah, here's a draft of your page wtf:


Aren't you glad I am not the one designing the mag wtf.

See, such a big spread for you!!! Woah!!!

Please support my column (blinding you with white sparkly shiny teeth wtf)

Calv out.

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Goodbye CBOX

This has been a thing that plagues me when I started to blog again. Zombies wtf no! Here's the damn thing, bloggers do have a thing called Chatbox. It is a wonderful creation as it reduce steps to comment on people's blog. I love it. I use. I want keep it here forever like the hairs on my head (Yes, I do fear that I will go botak wtf). Here's the sad thing, in a week time, I may remove it. Sorry all my loyal readers (if I have any wtf).

The reason (no, don't go Hoobastank on me) is very simple. Too many "noise." Noise as in "idiots." Idiots as in "losers." OK, OK, I know. This can go on forever. What I really meant was PEOPLE WHO WANTS TO DIE! As in SPAMMERS wtf.

Seeing so many people posting on my cbox made me feel great. Hey, I AM FAMOUS. Until I saw the links. Screw them for destroying my 15 seconds of *cough not really cough* fame. There goes all my self-confidence wtf. My lawyers are working to get RM1mil for me wtf.



The culprits are from two particular websites. First is BLOGOBO and the other is LEPAK.MY. No way am I linking them. Go Google them yourself. Yes, that is how much I dislike those sites (I don't link them back wtf). If I can benefit superior traffics from their visits, then it is fine. I will simply accept their spams.

Best part is the fact that they tried to hide it. Pretending that they are conversing with me like nothing happen. One of these days, I'll come to haunt you at night (look for the guy with a laser pointer wtf) - refer to P.P.S. Anyway just let me blow off some steam:



Firstly DO I LOOK LIKE I KNOW YOU? Yea, of course I do! Your name is "abg hero." A real life hero!!! OMG. And yes "Que," long time no see. When was it the last time we chat? I knew you 2,302,312,234,642 years ago, right? After being resurrected 54,125,235 times, we finally met again. Ah, "Elly," she is a beauty queen you know? All the way from INeverExistLand. She withdrew from Miss Universe because she is out of this universe! Geddit? Geddit? fml.

Secondly, my friends, when they visit my blog, will comment in the comment section. If not, those who posted on cbox, will at least mention what I wrote in my blog post. These spammers who comes from INeverExistLand will post stuffs like "Just make another visit" or "Like your blog, hope you like mine." Let me quote from my friend, Clement: "DO I LOOK LIKE I FUCKING CARE?"

Finally, the link. Usually, friends that comment on my cbox will not leave links or if they do, they will TYPE (OK, maybe copy paste wtf) their link! Don't you even bother giving me a shortened URL from bit.ly or adf.ly, or gofuckyourselfloving.ly. I will NEVER reply you. Seriously.

Well, that's all from me. Actually, I have no idea what to write about. So I ended up complaining again wtf. No, I am not an angry man in real life. I seem to take on a different personality online wtf. But this is a serious matter. It is even worst than your friend posting 1,000 pictures of themselves on Facebook!

Credit: to whoever drew this. Please, if you know the contributor, do inform me.

Calv out.

P.S. If you do know any benefits from receiving spams, you can tell me about it. Or at the very least, stop it from entering my cbox wtf.

P.P.S. I really do own a laser pointer thanks to Wei Lian. <3

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I got no sole

I would like to begin by bursting your bubble wtf. No, it is not the hey-I-sold-my-soul-to-the-Devil soul. It's more of a shoe's sole. Just in case you don't get my title wtf (cue sad music).



Seriously, it happened twice. Last year and this year. I bet it will soon be an annual thing since it's two years in a row. Oh what did I do to deserve this wtf. I bet you during my past life I was, a thief. Who steals shoes fml.

Alright, back to those incidents. First one was last year during marathon. Standard Charted KL Marathon 2010. Ahh... That fateful day. With sun shining, less than three hours of sleep and overtook by a girl (Wei Lian wtf). Good times. Good times. Oops, did I type that twice? Well, that's on purpose. Again, I got sidetracked wtf.

Imagine me running for the past hour and I saw the sign, 9km. Wow, one more kilometer and I will get my SOLID metal medal (no gold, sorry wtf). Of course that motivated me to continue running *cough-walking-cough* and run I did *cough-crawling-cough* wtf. In that instance, I can hear the crowd but no finish line in sight yet. So I ran/walk/crawl harder. Really, I did.


Something like that but more severe wtf

Out of nowhere, the sole of my shoe decided to fly open. It has a mouth people!!! The angle of the mouth open would put a crocodile/snake to shame. It can fit two and half Big Mac in it. Still I will keep on running. Duh, damn beh shiok right if I stop and quit when the end is near wtf. Beh shiok means "doesn't feel good" in Hokkien btw.

Proud to say, I reach the finishing line with one side of the shoe's sole flying off. So boys and girls, lesson here is: don't wear an old Bata shoe for marathon wtf.

Alright, the second incident would be more interesting if it happened on stage wtf. Seriously I kid you not. Don't worry, it did not happen during this year's Standard Charted KL Marathon. I used Bata shoes again wtf. Less than a year old wtf. (edited: to clarify, the Bata shoe again is for the marathon. I am not so loyal to Bata until I buy their leather shoes wtf)

What was suppose to happen that didn't happen!!!!!!

Anyway, this happened on 10th April 2011. Not quite recent but it is this year wtf. For HELP University College students, I bet you know what this date means. Convocation yo! Yay, the transition from a student to a jobless person wtf. During the event, of course we have to go up on stage, bow, shake hands, grab cert, pose, and go down. Wow, so many steps. You can thank me later future HELP UC graduates wtf.

During that time, nothing went wrong, phew. It was after the convocation when we are ready for food. As I was walking towards the restaurant, my LEATHER SHOE's sole came off!!!!! And you can imagine my family's reaction. PLUS my wonderful girlfriend, Wei Lian wtf. Of course the burst of laughters were there. And thanks to the swift action from my grandma, she managed to safe my sole wtf. I am sure she framed my sole up hanging it somewhere that I can't find it. I still can't wtf.

Err, yea, grandma before ordering the frame for it. Kidding!! Or am I? wtf

I know that all of you were hoping for it to happen on stage BUT thankfully it didn't. If it did, there goes all my future prospect jobs wtf. Imagine during interview:

Interviewer: Hey, aren't you the dude who left your sole on stage? HAHAHAHA.. That was hilarious!

Me: Err.. Yea..

Interviewer: I mean, c'mon, for it to happen DURING your convo!! Can you imagine the embarrassment?

Me: Hahaha........ Yea, so unexpected....

Interviewer: I know, how can you live with yourself!! OMG, I get to tell this to my colleagues too!

Me: *gives interviewer lots of paper cuts while stabbing his eye with his pen on his desk*

Warning, graphic picture, oops too late

See, that's why I can never get a job if that happens. Thank God, only my family will remember it as "the day Calvin's sole came off" instead of "the day Calvin graduated" fml.

OK, that's all. Kthxbye.

Calv out.

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Can Vs. May

This is just a very simple post.

The wrong way:
"Can I go to the toilet?"



Looked simple, right? Well then, here's what will happen if the world goes according to that statement:



The right way:
"May I go to the toilet?:



And there you go! Piss at last. (Geddit, geddit? Peace? Piss? wtf):


The simple rule here is that "Can" means the ability to do something while "May" means asking for permission. Plus, it is more polite using "May" to others.

Get it?



Yea baby! You can bow now wtf.

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