Toilet pee peeves

I am in a hygienic mood. I feel so clean wtf.

So let's talk about toilet. Yes, THE toilet! No, you won't get to know the colour and shape of my shit (shape like "C" wtf) but you'll know the top three things that irritates me in the toilet.


Don't ask why I put this wtf

Let uncle Calvin tell you so you know what to do when he is around. Don't worry as I won't ask for a 5-star service (red carpet would be nice though wtf).

Ok, firstly I really really cannot tahan if the door knob/lock/latch/round thingy is wet. Seriously. Can you imagine yourself touching this cold, wet, maybe pee stained door knob? Can you? Sure, I may be wrong but there are guys who don't wash their hand after peeing! I cringe at the thought of it.

Yellow because pee stained wtf

So what I normally do if I touch it. I scrub my hand so hard almost ripping it hoping to remove my pee stained skin. Then, I'll curse silently under every breath wtf. And I'll grab a tissue to turn the door knob and push it open. The tissue will self-destruct afterwards. Hey, don't blame me! I don't know your hygiene routine! It's not like I take my time studying you while I am in the toilet. The Pak Cik guard will arrest me. Then Wei Lian will be laughing at me as they drag me away.....

Another horrible (combination between horrible and terrible, wait, it looks the same wtf) thing I cannot stand (or even sit) is people standing next to me when I pee. If the restroom has only two urinals then that's fine. Even though I prefer them to wait for me to finish. I take only less than 30 seconds to finish la! Unzip, pee, shake and keep wtf. (*edited: zip back wtf)

If there are five urinals and you choose to stand beside me, I cannot "let go" until you go away. Really!! Even during mid-stream it can miraculously stop WTF! I harbour real hatred to those who chose the urinal beside mine when I pee midway. Even after I stop and continue peeing, it's like I never went! The "feel" is still there! Then I'll curse silently under my breath again wtf.

And the last but definitely not least issssssssssssssssssss....... the shape of the urinal wtf. No, hear me out here! Normally, urinals are suppose to protect my little brother from other's pleasure wtf. But nowadays, I really don't get this, but they decided to arch the bottom part of the urinal outwards that it is impossible for you to hide your pee pee!

Let me demonstrate old school:



See, that's decent. Enough space to spread your legs and I can easily hide too. Hide towards the left? No problem! Right? Nothing to it! Me like. Nothing but me and my piss wtf.

PHAIL urinal:

Cannot find it la. Go Sunway Pyramid see wtf.

Yes, it is so wide and it protrudes outwards!! I understand the protruding part as it works to catch our drips but not the wider ones. I cannot spread my legs that WIDE! Because of that, I need to stand further from the urinal. Think of it like peeing in the public wtf.

Well, that's all. To all guys, pee cleanly and remember, distance between us peeing is one urinal. If not, hold it in wtf. Cannot die la.

Calv out.