Just ranting

Ever feel like driving the car from the opposite side of the road?
Ever wonder what it is like to be at the edge of a cliff?
Ever feel like crossing the road when it is full of speeding vehicles?
Just asking.

There are times in life when we wonder "What am i doing here?"
Looks like i am in one of those times. Yes, it is strange for a young adult like me to ask myself that, but i do actually.
Is it worth fighting your way here when you do know all is in despair?
How would i know? i am still fighting to find my way out there.
Everytime i think of the consequences, i am still wondering why do i do it?

Day by day i found myself no more the cheerful person i was last year.
Few days ago, i had a few of my friends whom i knew last year asked me, "Why are you soft-spoken these days?", "What happened to you? You seem less crazier."
Am i suppose to act like everything is Okay when it is not? i have trouble putting on a poker face when things like that happens.

i realize that i never pour out any feelings i had. They say share your feelings but do we need to?
A close friend of mine told me to share it with her, but i still leave so many things out when i am telling her what is on my mind.
Everytime i spill out something, i keep thinking that i am a burden. i still think i am.
Most of the time, i envy some of my friends who have friend/s to talk, laugh together, be together and enjoy together.
Don't think i know any of my friends that well eventhough i had known them for all my life.
i guess i am afraid of getting close to them. i know i will always ended up hurting myself or them, or feel betrayed eventhough that is not the case.
i don't want anymore of this to happen... i just hope one day i can stand up and look myself in the mirror without any feeling of disgust.

Calv out. (Can i know who is my friend?)

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Photographer's love!

In this rundown town,
When you are around,
Colors seem more dynamic,
The scenary so terrific.

In this sad, sad lives,
The look from your lovely eyes,
Gives exposure more light,
Making everything look bright.

From the darkest essence,
All they need is your presence,
That flashes hope right here,
Not even they can sneer.

When people starts to fall,
Your arrival changes all,
Instantly Saving Other,
Acting unlike a jester.

The images are clear,
That's because you are here,
Wish i could thank you,
For all the things you do.

If a photographer would write a love poem, it might sound like this.
Still corny as ever. =P
Oh well, just live with it! Hehehe...
Makes you wonder if this is for a person he likes or his camera?

Project 365:

Day 26: March 21, 2009

Wow, i help clean my younger brother's room.
Look at all his toys! Especially the Transformers!
If only i have that. Oh well, back to destroying his!

Day 27: March 22, 2009

Went for the International Hot Air Balloon Event with Mae, Luc, Eliza and Jeremy.
Was a hot day but at least i manage to get upclose picture of the hot air balloon.
It was a painful (physical) day too. Fell twice!!

Day 28: March 23, 2009

It is an honor that some kind soul suggested to "Apostrophe" a picture from my picture blog!
Bless his/her heart! =P
But i am happy seeing my picture inspired other people!

Day 29: March 24, 2009

Don't see her picture in my blog that often!
So just post it up to tease her! She is Isabel by the way.
Ish, acting camera shy! Wonder if she will kill me for posting it up! =P

Day 30: March 25, 2009

Looks haunted? Nah, just a scary corridor to my house.
The light is not working again!
How many times do we need to complain? Get it fix!!!

Calv out!

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Unwanted attention

Feeling weird these few days.
Maybe i am being paranoid.
Who's there? What is this? Where are you? How did that happen?
All these questions, i cannot answer.
i guess it's in my head.

Project 365:

Day 24: March 19, 2009

Happy birthday to Sze Mun!
She is the girl on my right!
Finally 20 years old (i guess?).
Hope you enjoy yourself!!

Day 25: March 20, 2009

Today is the first time i went to Christian Fellowship.
The songs i heard were different, maybe because i don't get it in my head yet.
Just go there to see what is going on in the club.
Friendly people there and good environment too.

Calv out!

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Updates

Oh man, been awhile since i have updated this blog.
The main reason is because i don't have any access to internet. =P

In these few days of absense (in blog) all i have been doing is trying new things.
What is it? Have a look at Project 365.

Firstly, just gonna write about the photohunt i went with Chloe, Jer and Riz last Monday.
Was a great day out! C'mon, you have 4 people who loves to take picture and crazy!
We went to KLCC's park and took random/organized shots of things.
Everyone took different pictures and most of it were great!
Well, let the picture speak for itself.

Here are my companions for that outing:

1) Rizuan

2) Chloe

3) Jeremy


And here are some of the shots that i took using my camera:

Slides!! The girl looked at my camera!

Notice the idiot? =P

i personally like this (above) picture.

Just test shot but turn out ok.

Love the waterfall effect.

Project 365:

Day 17: March 12, 2009

Went to Bangsar Village that day and ate all these.
The shop is called San Ferri Cottage.
Love their tea and the comfortable chair!
The food is great too! Recommend to all!

Day 18: March 13, 2009 (Friday)

*edited*
Friday the 13th event was on that day. Lalala~
Got the picture from Mae and i guess you can tell what is happening.
Special thanks goes to Mae and Eliza for coming on that day to support me.
Appreicate it very, very much!
i have no comment on whatever happens after you hear me sing. >.<

Day 19: March 14, 2009

i fixed this old souvenir my grandparents bought from Hong Kong 20 years ago!
Suppose to show it to my friends but i forgot!
Will show it to them soon. Quite a cool thing!

Day 20: March 15, 2009

Look what i caught? Manage to get the lizard in the container.
No, i did not kill it. Released it outside later.
i can imagine all the girls go "Ewww!" =P

Day 21: March 16, 2009 (Monday)

*edited*
That is the right picture.
Manage to get if from Eliza's camera.
Li Wen, Mae, Eliza and i got invited to a fashion show (Malaysia Dreamgirls) at Mist by Dennis.
Had a blast because enjoyed the event! Thanks Dennis!

Day 22: March 17, 2009

i tried making "Kuih Pisang"!!
Turn out alright for me. And brought it for my friends to taste it today (Wednesday).
Got positive feedback so i am happy!

Day 23: March 18, 2009 (Wednesday)

Aha! For the first time, i contributed in my pet sis, Agnes, assignment!
See, my idea is good at times!
You owe me for today!!!

Special announcement!!!!!

Finally fixed my light!
Look, it is so bright!!!
But remeber, Earth Day Malaysia on March 28, 2009 is approaching!
Turn off all the lights at 8.30pm until 9.30pm!

Calv out!

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Something's up.

My heart is pounding so hard and i think i am shivering when i think about it.
Only two more days... i will try my best though!
Let there be courage, let there be support, let everything runs smoothly.

Recently had a run with the Devil.
i feel confused and depressed because of that.
Guess i am good at putting a strong front.
Hmm.. i need to do something immediately before this goes out of hand.
And to that-certain-person-who-i-will-not-name, thank you for listening, my friend.
It helps a lot, really!

Project 365:

Day 13: March 8, 2009

What's up with this gate you say?
i was locked in there for a moment because i was too curious.
It was the door that leads up to the water tank at the apartment.
Hey, it was open and i was curious to find out where it lead.

Day 14: March 9, 2009

That morning, i played squash and badminton with my buddy, Canace.
It's been a long time since i hung out with her!
The sports were great, and we chatted for awhile too.
Glad to know that she is doing fine and enjoying too. =)

Oh ya, after that, i went photo hunting with Chloe, Riz and Jer.
That will be in another post.

Day 15: March 10, 2009

Owh great! More soles coming out from my favourite shoe!!
This happen after Isabel showed me the sole of her shoe coming off!
It spreaded to mine as well!!! >.< color="#993399">glue!
i need NEW SPORTS SHOES!!

Day 16: March 11, 2009

Hmm, i want to buy Nips? Eclipse? Wait a CAT?!
Haha... i saw this cat sleeping comfortably at Newsplus in Dato Keramat LRT.
So cute isn't it?
When you got to sleep, you got to sleep!
Cats are still the best!

Calv out!

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Breathless

The daylight's fading slowly
But time with you is standing still
I'm waiting for you only
The slightest touch and I feel weak
I cannot lie, from you I cannot hide
And I'm losing the will to try
Can't hide it, can't fight it
So go on, go on, come on, leave me breathless ...

by The Corrs, Breathless (intro of the song).

The things i am doing now. i got motivated by someone.
You might not read this blog
but: i will tell that person real soon too
Thank you for your encouragement!

Project 365:

Day 11: March 6, 2009 (Friday)

Wow, my first time doing a really last minute assignment!
That was the picture of Jeremy and Isabel behind the laptop.
Need to pass up before 5pm, i think?
That picture was taken around 1pm. Gosh, 4 hours to do a 800 - 1000 words Intercultural Communication assignment!
Was doing it last minute together with Isabel, Eliza and Jeremy.

Day 12: March 7, 2009 (Saturday)

Today, my little brother showing off his "new" television and player in his room.
Why does he gets all this thing before me? i get recycled ones! =.=
Owh well, he is the KID. (mumble, mumble, mumble...)
He still have time to pose when i took this picture!
Lucky bastard! But he will never know that he is in this blog. Nyahahaha...

Calv out!

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Tagged and who knows what

1. Would you date someone younger or someone older?
** Both actually. i don't care what they called "the age factor"

2. What do you usually do at 3 am?
** Stare outside my window. Serious!

3. The Dumper or The Dumped?
** Usually the dumped.

4. Describe yourself in 10 words :
** Words cannot really describe how superbly pessimistic i am now.

5. Got to know something interesting recently?
** Yes. What, u expect me to tell all of you?

6. List down 3 things that scared the light out of you.
** Death
** Betrated
** Expectations

7. How old are you?
**21 years old.

8. Do you know anyone by the name Sheryl?
** Yes, the one in ADP. And another one of my junior.

9. Chocolate?
** NO!!

10. How are you feeling?
** Feeling down.

11. How's life so far?
** i am changing my lifestyle so i guess it is improving.

12. Done anything bad in the past 3 months?
** Yes, ask my little brother.

13. What was the most insulting thing anyone's ever said to you in the past month?
** "You are just like him"

14. Are you hairy?
** Isn't it obvious? i am!

15. Musical/Athletic?
** Both! i like both!

16. How's the muffin?
** The one you baked? Retarded. The one i bought? Satisfactory.

17. Do you love anybody specifically?
** Love? What do you think?

18. Have you ever cheated on you lover?
** No, the other way happen from my previous one.

19. Do you consider yourself good-looking?
** No, i rarely notice myself.

20. Thank you for answering.
** You are welcome.

21. Tag 5 people :
** Mae, Li Wen, Kellen, Charlene and Melissa.

Ok, that is done, but i guess nothing more for me to do.
Am currently doing my Intercultural Assignment. Trying anyway.

Yesterday was another sleepless night because of obvious reasons.
i need to exercise more! Looks like i can't run for long distance already.
That is indeed frustrating!!! Whatever, i run (trying) to get away from reality.
Depression? Yea, i think i am halfway there.
Dreaming of the impossible, i dive into the bottomless pit.



Project 365:

Day 9: March 4, 2009 (Wednesday)


Went out with my pet sis, Agnes.
We were in Mid Valley food hopping and boy am i full!
Fastfood to Japanese food. You name it.
And then, there were a few rounds of pool. She won 2-1 games!
Had a great day though.
Sorry for the blurry picture. Will change it once she send me the clearer ones.

Day 10: March 5, 2009 (Thursday)


Something my brother (12 years old) made for me.
It's Langkawi through his interpretation of an art.
It is..... Nice. He had been and still giving me handmade craft for so long (and i keep all of it, mind you!).
See, i do appreciate his artwork despite the way i torture him.
Hope that he will know how to pursue his dreams.

Calv out!

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Lalala~ and it continues

i am happy today despite having my right foot stepped on in the LRT, despite tiring myself with squash, despite being soaking wet from the rain, despite hitting my head on my bed today.
Am i being sarcastic? No.
Lalala~ i like the rain, when it pours down on me.
It's been so long since i felt this good underneath the rain.
Let this good feeling continue and not let it be ruin by one simple sentence.

Hope that is the case.
Atleast i am happy, and it maybe for a moment, but i shall enjoy it before it is gone again.
Lalala~ and so it shall continue, i wish.

Day 8: March 3, 2009 (Tuesday)

Before squash, i manage to see this guy do some housework.
Who is this guy? Rizuan Arus. i said i will post it up and i did!
Look at him cleaning the floor because he was stoning while pouring water and spilling it.

Calv out

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I had a dream

Another one of those nightmare haunts me again.
After being able to sleep more than two hours it had to come!
i can hear a sentence repeating in my dream.
"You're just like him" all of my closest friends said.

Great, i know my friends won't betray me like that but it made me wonder...
When people starts to point fingers like that, how do one overcome it?
If it isn't my fault from the start, why does it feel that i am the guilty one?
Am i "just like him"?

Project 365 updates:

Day 4: February 27, 2009 (Friday)

Wow, there's a protest on that day. Something about the Sri Lanka Genocide.
i think it is the anniversary of that event according to what i found in Google.
At least it ends peacefully and no one got hurt.

Day 5: February 28, 2009 (Saturday)

Live Your Passion at Annexe Gallery.
This is how many stuff i had collected on that day.
Music and Theatre Forum.

Day 6: March 1, 2009 (Sunday)

The final day for the Live Your Passion.
Thanks, Eliza, for accompanying me (well, both of us wanted to go!)
Funny thing is today's forum is much better! More optimistic than yesterday!
Dance, Film and Visual Arts Forum.

Day 7 (Hurray! A week!): March 2, 2009 (Monday)

Try to eat some of the stuff in the Banana Leaf rice!
Well, atleast it is not spicy but bitter 'til i want to wash my tongue with soap!
There's a first for every food.

Calv out!

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